Given my poor showing with Ulysses, R.M Vaughan’s column in yesterday’s Globe made me smile. Tried to link to it, but it’s behind the pay wall. I’ve pinched and posted parts of the article to support the much maligned “summer read.”
I blame Jian Ghomeshi. The floppy-haired CBC Radio One host has been bragging all summer that he is reading James Joyce’s Ulysses, another impossible book. He’s way past page 17, I’m sure — but then, he has production assistants.
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Faced with one of my failings, I make like the Conservative Party and take comfort in fake populism. I’m just an ordinary fellow, I tell myself, a common sort. Why should I be held to such impossibly high literary standards? Only eggheads, Brits, sexual deviants (same thing) and desperate-for-ideas movie producers read 19th-century literature. What are the reg’lar folks reading?
Regular folks, according to paperback bestseller lists across this continent (okay, the English-speaking parts) are inhaling Michael Connelly’s latest legal thriller The Lincoln Lawyer — the title of which, you’ll be relieved to know, refers not to Abraham Lincoln or any other remotely educational topic, but to a large automobile. See, you’re already over the biggest hurdle.
Once you crack this book open, you’re safely on autopilot for a good 500 pages. What bliss, to glide like a bit of dandelion fluff from one neatly mowed, monochromatic lawn of text to the next. You could literally read this book drunk on a noisy bus and still not miss a plot point. Connelly is a no-frills writer from the Ellery Queen school of mystery fiction: Unveil the dastardly crime no later than page 5, set up the main characters before page 25, proceed with the nifty procedurals.
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The publishing industry, a world as rarefied (and, increasingly, about as relevant) as Dead Sea Scroll scholarship, likes to refer to books like The Lincoln Lawyer — fast paced, well-crafted books that engage millions — as summer books, or, more dismissively, beach books, as if people are any smarter in the winter or indoors. …
I wish Ghomeshi the luck of the Irish in his attempt to skip across the bogs of Ulysses.
But by the time he’s finished, I’ll have read The Lincoln Lawyer, two science-fiction novels, and a grocery checkout book (another misunderstood literary subset) about plastic-surgery disasters — all without consulting a dictionary, flipping back to some enigmatic foreshadowing in the beginning chapters, or reverently placing said books gently on my lap whilst savouring the author’s dulcet flow.
R.M. Vaughan is a Toronto artist, novelist, poet and playwright.
Amy